Dave and I have recently befriended our neighbors, Brian and Tina. They have a baby, Colin, that is only 3 months older than Elliott - that alone made us pretty fast friends.
One thing that Tina and I have discussed on numerous occasions is that no one really tells you certain things about pregnancy, childbirth, and baby-having. I don't know if these things are supposed to be, like, women secrets. But as Tina so eloquently put it, "My friends are f***ed up." Amen, sister. Amen.
Here are the things that I wish I would have known:
1. No two pregnancies, child births, or babies are the same. No, really. People love to tell you their sob stories, their tales of horror (and I don't know why women insist upon doing this to one another) - but just because it happened to them doesn't mean it will happen to you. It's fun to swap delivery stories, it becomes a part of an exclusive club you've entered once you've had a child. But take it from me, people can tell you how to do some things until they are blue in the face, but what works for you is what works for you. Don't get me wrong, suggestions are nice - but they are just that. Suggestions. And they don't all work or help.
2. When you are close to going into labor, or when you are in labor - internal exams are so incredibly painful. Seriously, it was one of the worst parts of having a baby. If you decide to have an epidural, then you can't feel them anymore - which is wonderful. Also, when you are rounding 38 or 39 weeks your Dr. will offer to give you an internal to see if you have started dilating. Not only will this most likely tell you nothing (you could go into labor in 12 hours, or 12 days regardless of what they find), but it's going to suck.
3. You're going to tear during childbirth (sorry, dudes - earmuffs). Now, some of you may not (like if you have a C-section, duh), but chances are you will. Getting sewn back together hurts, and it hurts for weeks afterwards.
4. Speaking of "afterwards" - you aren't going to feel like yourself for a really long time. You still have to wear maternity clothes, your midsection will be all puffy and stretched, your breasts will get way bigger, you'll bleed, and there will be pain - and plenty of it. Walking will hurt like hell, but you'll get used to it, and slowly it will fade. Peeing will hurt a lot, too. In our child birth classes they told us some of this, and they said it might last for 2-3 weeks. Quite frankly, that's bullshit.
5. Don't buy baby clothes in advance. Elliott is just about to turn 4 months old and is wearing clothing for up to a 9 month old. You don't know how big your baby is going to be, so don't bother buying things for upcoming seasons (i.e. coats).
6. Drink lots of water. Through everything. Nothing good comes of being dehydrated when you are pregnant, in labor, or breast feeding. (I should practice what I preach.)
7. Once you lose the baby weight, and get back to your normal weight (and this time frame varies from person to person) - your body will rearrange itself. I am the same weight that I was B.E. (before Elliott), but I don't look the same. The weight is all in different places now. And I'm still waiting for this belly to finish shrinking down. Harrumph.
8. During pregnancy you don't lose a lot of hair. It's a weird hormonal thing. Un-pregnant people lose about 100 hairs a day, but this slows way down when you are preggers. Well, the pendulum swings the other way, I'm afraid. At almost 4 months postpartum I am losing hair by the handful. It's gross, and annoying, and is currently showing no signs of stopping. Enjoy your thick, pretty hair when you're pregnant - it won't last long.
I know that seems like a bunch of bitching and moaning, so let me finish with this:
9. You have no idea how instantaneously you will love something until it happens to you.
Dave and I were emotional before I had Elliott because it had just been us for 8 years. We loved our life together, and it was hard to think of something taking some of that love away from one another. However, as soon as Elliott was born, we couldn't imagine a world with him not in it. He immediately became our everything. You do not know love like this until you experience it.
My boys.
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